I’m a dreamer. I’ve got my head firmly lodged in the clouds and I’m not afraid to dream big and take risks to make those dreams come true. But that wasn’t always the case. I used to be trapped in a 9-5 (and the rest) job that I hated, wishing I could break out of the monotony. Trust me, you have what it takes to follow your dreams, just like I did. Hopefully my story will offer a little bit of inspiration.
The Corporate Dream Nightmare
Two years ago I had an enviable graduate job working for an international wine and spirits company. I stayed at 5 star hotels, drank expensive bottles of champagne and earned more money than I could spend. I drove a Mini Countryman with leather seats, but I was on the waiting list to upgrade to an Audi…all on the company’s dime.
As far as everyone around me was concerned, I was living the dream. In reality, it was my own personal nightmare.
Every evening when I got home I’d pull up at the end of the street where no one could see me and spend 15 minutes sitting in my fancy company car, bawling my eyes out. I was so exhausted from the long hours and constant stress that I’d fall asleep midway through the rare catchups I had with friends and family. I didn’t have the time or energy to go out and spend the money I’d worked so hard to earn. Not only did I hate the job I was doing, but my work-life balance was so warped that it became the only life I had. I felt isolated from everyone and everything outside of work that I was utterly miserable.
A Sense of Desperation
At first I thought the anxiety and discontentment I felt were just temporary side-effects of leaving behind my carefree uni days to settle down into my first grown-up job. But, as time went on, my stress levels continued to soar and my happiness continued to plummet.
“Surely there must be more to life than this. Doesn’t my well-being count for anything?”
“Is my job really meant to be the focal point of my entire life? What about my friends, family, hobbies? Is every aspect of my life just meant to revolve around this job that I don’t even get any satisfaction from?”
“Is this what the rest of my life going to look life? Am I ever going to be happy again?”
Yes, ladies and gentleman, I was scratching around at the depths of a quarter life crisis.
“This will pass,” I told myself.
It didn’t.
Naysayers Will Say Nay
All my late nights spent staring out of the window, questioning the meaning of life had me convinced that this was not the way things were supposed to be. Surely the point of life isn’t to work yourself into a miserable little hole. I should do what makes me happy! I should follow my dreams and chase a sense of fulfilment, not spend my evenings sobbing into my steering wheel.
My mother had other ideas.
My mother is my biggest fan. She’s my shoulder to cry on, my guidance counsellor and my head cheerleader. But my mother is also a very practical woman and my emotionally-charged, hippie-style view of the world has never made much sense to her. When I told her I was sick of my job and I wanted to find something that would make me happy, she despaired at the thought of me giving up a well-paid, stable job to go chasing my dreams through the poppy fields.
“No one’s excited to go to work in the morning,” she told me. “Work is hard, but sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to. Life isn’t a fairytale.”
She wasn’t the only one who rolled her eyes when I brought up the possibility of throwing away a promising career. No one thought it was a good idea and I ended up spending much longer than I should have listening to their doubts instead of my desires. Luckily, I eventually found the nerve to block out the sound of disapproval and make a change.
You Do You…Whatever that May Be
The hardest part about following your dreams is deciding exactly what they are. This is never more true than when you’re caught in the clutches of a quarter life crisis and even the simplest of things suddenly seem abstract. I wanted to do something that would bring me joy, but I knew I had to be practical. My real dream was to write a bestselling novel and travel the world on the profits, but that wasn’t very actionable.
Instead, I decided to channel my love of literature into studying to become an English teacher and, when I got my qualification, I moved abroad. Sure, my travel budget as a teacher isn’t quite as fantastic as that of a millionaire writer, but I’m living out my dreams in a practical way. Since I moved to Kuwait last August I’ve been on eight holidays to four different countries and I’m going to spend the summer travelling Southeast Asia. It turns out my dream of travelling and writing was much more obtainable than I originally thought.
Life Can be a Fairytale
When my alarm goes for work at 5:30am on a Sunday morning, do I smile and throw myself out of bed in a state of excitement? No! Do I have days so long and hard that I get home lie on the sofa without moving for three solid hours? Yes!
My mother was right: work is hard sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to. In my case, it’s paperwork and break time detentions. But, while there are aspects of my job that I hate, I love it overall. It makes me truly happy and brings me the kind of contentment and fulfilment that I could only have dreamed of two years ago while I was sipping on my fancy champagne.
My life isn’t perfect by any means. No one’s life is perfect! But, by working up the courage to buck expectations, take a risk and follow my dreams, I can’t help but feel like I’m living in my own little fairytale after all.
So my advice to you is to stop dreaming and start doing. Yes, people will tell you you’re crazy. Yes, taking the leap will be utterly terrifying. But you have to ask yourself which is worse: the fear of failing or the hurt of never even trying. Now get out there and start living your own fairytale.
